By Sidrah Haque

Day 1, 1pm

Woke up early today, practised my pout for a mere 40 minutes. I know I need to start taking myself more seriously. Looking pretty is work, you know.

Day 2, 8pm

There was a musician convention today to discuss ‘national security’ and stuff. “Honey,” I told the singer next to me, “national security is me not getting greasy skin.” Atif agreed. Gosh, what a drab group of artistes we have, ranting about some bloody war going on along some border...I think with India. Had more important things on mind, such as the manicure appointment I was missing out on. Rock stars of Lahoreso scruffy. Like, has NO one heard of Vitamin A-enhanced root condition? Sheesh!

I am the prettiest. Fact.

Day 3, 4pm

Stayed in today. The lack of concerts is affecting me on a deep, psycho-ish level, I keep telling my manager. He kept going on about that same bloody war. Hmmm. Maybe I should, like, read a newspaper and catch up. Maybe. Pout practice time!

Still pretty.

Day 4, 1am

Watched the news. All confusing stuff — I don’t get most of it. Just a bunch of hairy men making a lot of noise and shooting each other in the tribal areas. In other news, I caught the new Jal video. Sheesh, what is up with them rolling up their jeans all the time? Boys, stop trying. Rolled-up jeans aren’t going to happen. Really!

Prettier than the Jal boys.

Day 5, 7pm

I am so devastated. Just saw a stray dog outside. It was hurt and dirty. Cried a bit before making sure the chowkidar shooed it off the lawn. Don’t like yellow poopy spots on my nice grass, see. But this has affected me on a deep, meaningful level. We should, like, think of those less fortunate than us. Like rickshaw drivers and stuff. I wrote a small poem to express my feelings:

Have you ever stopped to think;
Why sadness never shrinks;
It grows like an untreated spot;
Or a grey hair that never gets caught.
It pains me when I sit and wonder;
About stuff like dandruff and, you know, hunger;
Who will take care of the animals that stumble;
Whose way of living is pretty humble;
No one to pet, no one to cuddle;
Peeing and drinking from the same puddle.
What a selfish race we have become;
Like the perfect television make-up…come undone.
P.S: Still pretty. Go me!

Day 6, 8pm

Went to an album launch today. Mobbed by fans, the miserable runts. Sorry, cranky today. Photo shoot earlier went terrible. Bloody female model trying to steal my spotlight. Whatevs, biatch. Am prettiest, everyone knows that.

“The lack of concerts are affecting me on a deep, psycho-ish level, I keep telling my manager. He kept going on about that same bloody war. Hmm. Maybe I should like, read a newspaper and catch up. Maybe.” — Self-assured pop star

Day 7, 5pm

Just caught Ali’s new video. Lol, he’s trying to bring the whole overcoat thing back again. How cute. Everyone knows overcoats are about as “right” as Annie’s hair. It’s all about the vests, honey. Ya’ thinks?

Am prettier than Annie and Ali put together.

Day 8, 3pm

Sheesh. My mom is SO embarrassing. She fell in love trying on this blue swarovski-crystal-embroidered chiffon kameez-pajama ensemble that was delivered to the house this morning.

Obviously, it was mine. She does this all the time now. Am getting sick of it.

Oh well. I guess this just means my good taste has no boundaries. Go me!

Day 9, 3am

My manager showed me a picture of Sarah Palin today. I think she’s some sort of president of America. I dunno. Didn’t pay too much attention. It’s hard to think of others when you’ve got a bad hair day. Manager has a crush on her, saying the whole world is going ga-ga over her. Whatevs. Am much prettier. And glasses, eww. Who’d wanna wear those? People with ugly noses — that’s who. OUCH!

Have a petite, symmetrical nose. Much prettier than Palin’s.

Day 10, 11pm

I don’t understand why the world is so obsessed with what’s going on in the tribal region. I mean, seriously. It’s not like it’s even a part of Pakistan, right? Aren’t the tribal areas, like, a part of neighbouring Iraq? Or something? Sheesh, ob-SES-sed!

Prettier than all news show hosts combined.

Day 11, 1am

Had a recording for a call-in show today. Everyone called in to say I’m pretty, of course. Had fun. No one called in to say the hostess was pretty. Lol. I mean, like that’s ever gonna happen when I’m around. Poor her. Made the manager send her some flowers. I know, I’m such a nice guy.

Day 12, 10pm

Watched Shehzad’s new video today. Hmm. Everyone loves it, even those damn insatiable critics. I don’t get it. It’s not even pretty, but they love it. I mean, there weren’t even any dancing girls in the background. Sheesh. “Art” videos. I just don’t get them.

Still the prettiest!

Writer’s note: Inspired by Cassandra Claire’s VSD series, and the wonderful self-assured pop stars of the country.

(Source:Poparazzi: The secret blog of a self-assured pop star -DAWN Images; October 19, 2008)
October 19,2008

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~I'm like the sea, which appears calm on the surface but there is a lot going on within...~