Day 1, 2 pm
Hell’s yeah, imma star, biatch!

New video out! Have blown up screenshots and put them around the house, in ‘new video’ tradition. You know me, a traditional man.

I admit, I did give the director a few funny looks when he mentioned there would be no dancing. He kept going on about the bleak conditions in the country. I think he was talking about the foreign exchange rates. Tell me about it. My moisturising product bills? Hurt.

In the new video, I play a common-man gangster getting uppity on the streets of Karachi. I know, totally fictitious. Wild imagination, these directors. It also had movie script stuff like shootings and road theft. Lol. How cute!

To remind people about the uber-holiness that is the new video, I’ve been prancing about the last few days with eyeliner on. I feel gritty and salt-of-the-earth. And have slightly watery eyes.

But who cares! Dood, I’m from the streets, yo! G-g-g-g-g Unit!

Day 2, 8 pm
LSA was a joke. Decided to give it the pass. Too pretty to mire away in petty politics. But when you give Atif six songs and me just three, you don’t deserve me.

Day 3, 1pm
Manager giving me lip. Don’t get what all the fuss is about. I mean, all I asked him to do was to write my “official” blog for me. I’m a busy man for god’s sake. I’ve got pedicure appointments to keep up with. Nails aren’t going to pretty up on their own, you know. He kept on mumbling the word “inte-grity” under his breath. Hmm. I think he was talking about my eyeliner.

3pm

Got him to write a post for me, the little git. Don’t understand half the words he used, though. Wonder what he meant by the word “thesaurus”. Will google it. Sense a bit of insult in that word, though. Phish. Damn servants. They jump all over you when you give a bit of leash.

Day 4, 2pm
DAMN! Sarah Palin lost the presidential election! Uggh. DAMN. This is just the suffering us pretty people of the world have to go through. For shame. And after I could understand and relate to everything she said!

Update: Manager tells me she was running for vice-presidency. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds way cooler than the presidency. Vice means sin, right? Damn you, America!

Day 5, 1am
Visited a new music producer today. He was obviously a gora in desi garbs. Damn these goras and their love for “going native”. Hate it when they always want to get to know more than just the sufi malang stuff we have to “offer”. How irritating.

This gora spoke impeccable Urdu. He even had a TMA award on a mantle. Asked him if he’s been at the music stuff for long. At which he laughed and mentioned something about “vital signs”. I think he was making a joke about the Balochistan earthquake. You know, we really shouldn’t make fun about stuff like that. Snob.

Day 6, 11pm
What a slow day. Pampered myself with my favourite apricot face mask made with my own hands. Yes, I know: I’m a sensitive beast. I think everyone should do more of their own work around the house. Also, because I fired the cook who usually makes them. Damn servants.

Realised today that winters are setting in. Meaning, very little prospects of revealing my well-toned biceps in the next few months. Very disappointed. But life is hard, you know, but you learn to go with the flow. Practiced my eyeliner strokes for two hours instead. Am getting quite good at it now.

Day 7, 5pm
Was called a “narcissus” today. Yelled back that I’m anything but a damn sissy. Think I should cut back on the eyeliner though, just in case.

Day 8, 8pm
I hear the Kaavish boys have disbanded. For shame. Those boys had the best locks in town. After me, of course. Perhaps now they’ll be nice enough to answer when I ask what hair product they use instead of laughing. Selfish punks.

Day 9, 11pm
Watched more news today. Beginning to think they make half of those things up. They keep on talking about “air strikes” on the border. All lies. I live in a city right next to the border and I don’t hear anything. Except that obnoxious ice-cream vendor.

Day 10, 2am
YES! Lauren and Heidi are TOTALLY friends again! That punk Spencer should die in his own vomit. What a self-obsessed pretty-boy runt!

Hmm. That line sounds very familiar… now who have I heard that from before?

Day 11, 1pm
Did some heavy reading. Instep Today. Wow! I never knew that Salman Khan nearly drove to Shah Rukh Khan’s birthday party because all of Salman’s friend were invited, and even though he wasn’t he totally wanted to go and patch things up with SRK and walk in, but didn’t because there was paparazzi at the front entrance. Who’da thunk? Instep Today should totally go national.

Writer’s Note: Inspired by Cassandra Claire’s VSD series, and the wonderful self-assured pop stars of the country.

(Source : POP ARAZZI:: The Very Secret Blog Of A Self-Assured Pop Star -DAWN Images; November 16, 2008 )

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~I'm like the sea, which appears calm on the surface but there is a lot going on within...~